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Imitatio of the amazing writer Anne Lamott’s voice

Mid semester has got to be the most dreadful time of the year for me. All the energy I came in with the first couple of weeks has been sucked out of me by some giant vacuum of laziness. I actually used to sit at my computer Sunday nights and (wait for it) plan my every waking step for the next week. Can you believe it? I’d be lucky to even find that planner now. It’s got to be somewhere in my room probably under the clothes monster sitting in the middle of my floor that I nicknamed DISMT. It’s really hard to pronounce because it’s an acronym which in case you’re wondering stands for “damn I should move this.” It’s only taking up most of all of the walking space in my dorm which probably explains why I’ve had about zero visitors in the past weeks, no big deal though. Everything just got so hard. Is it planned to be this way? Since when does waking up feel like as much work as working out? I’m going to allow myself one week of free reign laziness meaning no alarms, no classes, no meetings, and no homework! (Doing this of course will most likely land me in a deeper hole of doom, deeper than the one I’m in now.) I’m ruined. The effort and energy it would talk to dig myself out of this hole is seemingly impossible to gather up at this point. Mid to the end of October should be banned from teaching. The boss of schools should come up with some strict law that prohibits anyone from teaching or being taught during this time period and anyone who violates this should suffer the consequences of having all your high school yearbook pictures blown up on a jumbotron in front of just a few of your crushes because we can all agree that those always seem to capture the true essence of our beauty. In this time that we won’t be in school, we can get a head start on doing very very bad things (things that I probably shouldn’t speak of) that we would usually save until summer but with all this newly granted free time could start on. Life would be amazing.